‘Quiet Time’

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For whatever reason, I woke up REAALLLYY early this morning.  So, I got up, made coffee, did a ‘lil Facebooking, and went on with the morning routine.

I could have had ‘Quiet Time’.  You know the kind. Devotional, Bible study, prayer, etc. I’m not claiming that, because that’s not what happened. I simply enjoyed the silence of sleeping children and dogs in a still house while the sun rose. And it was fantastic!

Do I skip ‘Quiet Time’ on purpose? Is it heresy to say I skipped it all-together this morning? If I didn’t feel bad about it, and I wasn’t prompted by God to do it, then NO!

Here’s a experienced lesson about doing for God.  If I feel condemned because I did or didn’t, It’s not God.  If it doesn’t produce in me the Fruits of the Spirit, (patience, peace..) then it isn’t God either.  I felt at peace with the decision to have MY time, gave God a appreciative nod and got to work on time for a change.

Quiet time, or any time with God should not be begrudged time with God, because ALL time is time with God.  When you feel the need (or a that internal voice/pull) to SHARE it with God, then it’s intimate time.  Make sense?  And that is what God wants! Intimacy.

There is also Junk time. I like to do it in writing.  Getting it out on a page, gets it out of me, and therefore unclouds my brain for the good stuff. The praising, the enjoying my day, the loving others part… Writing out all the whiny, boo-hooey, first-world, no-one-else-cares junk, put out there for God to sort through, is just as intimate.  He wants to help, even if it’s the petty little stuff.  It makes for a better perspective actually.  You can claim some rewards and some accountability for the dross and move on.

In short (too late!), the lesson here today friends, is I could walk away from my room feeling confident God and I are good, without feeling I failed as a Christian because I didn’t make a check on the required  list.  Being MOVED to do what we are called to do (and doing it) is far more fruitful than being shoved face first. That will put you into a spiritual wall in a hurry.

Love God and the time He gives. All the time he gives. Good, bad, indifferent, it all has it’s place, and He is in the middle of all of it.

Be blessed, Friends!

Walk Out Your Inspiration

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Fresh Avocados

How do we manifest ideas to things? Actually, the more important question would be.. Why don’t we exchange ideas for reality more often?  Does money hold you back? Courage? Skill set? Are you praying for confirmation? If so, how long do you wait until you give up, or the idea fizzles?  How often have you been in prayer only to see someone else have the same idea and run with it?

I have been there too, folks, on more occasions I care to admit!  Why do we wait so long for confirmation, when the idea itself was the green light to move our feet in the first place? My prayer is typically about logistics.  What do I do? Who do I call? Where do I go?….. Yet, I’m still standing in place(duh).  Tragically, I have waited so long, I have literally felt an idea pass through me, and watched it…

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Imperfectable Me

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Ever get tired of being lectured about how much better you could be, if only you did…….? Ya, me too…  Or, “You are perfected in Christ”,(as long as you follow this nice long list of stipulations and protocol that deam you perfect by only a small percentage of your sphere of influence, and even smaller margin of the human populace).

By those standards, neither sounds like a club I would want to join.

What is our infatuation with perfectionism?  I’m sure ‘keeping up with the Jones'” was a great concept at first, as friendly/healthy competition, but are we so dissatisfied with who we are, we would risk the unique experience of being us, to be someone else? Is this our motivation to reach the unreachable goal of perfection? Is having a million friends on Facebook perfection? Is the media standard for body type, political stance, fashion, ect. perfection?

How about this one?…. Are you perfect when you use the right buzz words at church? Being in a pew every Sunday? Dressing up, instead up dressing down? Attending every single church event? Are you serving or being seen?

Trying to be perfect…. You know what? The human standards of perfection are lame. And, they’re exhausting.  Trying to maintain our current mountains are exhausting.  Trying to backpedal out of the valley to a mountain we already climbed is exhausting.  Trying to be someone else, because we are dissatisfied with who we are is exhausting. The energy wasted to control the judgement of us by others is freakin pointless!

We were very intractly, intentionally, perfectly made.

Intention is everything.  If we don’t intend to be authentic, we’re gonna lose.

 

You are who you hang with so Hang out with people whochallenge you to be a better YOU! not a better Them.

I really like this subconscious definition of perfect… ALL MY EXPECTATIONS WERE MET TODAY! IT WAS PERFECT!

Walk Out Your Inspiration

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How do we manifest ideas to things? Actually, the more important question would be.. Why don’t we exchange ideas for reality more often?  Does money hold you back? Courage? Skill set? Are you praying for confirmation? If so, how long do you wait until you give up, or the idea fizzles?  How often have you been in prayer only to see someone else have the same idea and run with it?

I have been there too, folks, on more occasions I care to admit!  Why do we wait so long for confirmation, when the idea itself was the green light to move our feet in the first place? My prayer is typically about logistics.  What do I do? Who do I call? Where do I go?….. Yet, I’m still standing in place(duh).  Tragically, I have waited so long, I have literally felt an idea pass through me, and watched it manifest through someone else.  I wasn’t trusting myself to be trusted, and there it freakin’ went! (Cue “Dust in the Wind lyrics here)

The idea IS confirmation you are being entrusted with greatness!  The first clue your idea is divinely inspired? An overwhelming sense of love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness… (Gal 5:22-23). If you are on high-octane fruits of the Spirit… It’s not only a good idea.. It’s a GOD idea!

You ARE a ministry! What you put into this Earth is exactly what you are supposed to be doing, so please put your Big Ideas into motion!  Give them the life only you were specifically designed to do.

MOVE your idea! Share it, make it, do it, be it!! Still not sure?  Second clue… If your idea is bigger and smarter than you… If your idea flies so far out into left field it requires you to race out of your comfort zone to retrieve it… Yeah, it’s definitely a God thing! Prayer is our backbone as believers. So pray away if that is what you feel compelled to do, by all means!! Keeping in constant contact while in motion is necessary.  Stationary with doubt causes trouble.  When Jesus went into the desert for forty days, he walked. HE WALKED… When he was tempted, He didn’t stand, mouth agape, eyes clamped shut, praying “why” and wait for the devil to move on! He DIDN’T STOP MOVING! Forward motion is essential for MOMENTUM!

Stationary with fear is crippling. Oh, I know this well, don’t you!?  Anyone fear failure? Judgement? Embarrassment? Fear paralyzes from the hands, down!  Fear is so toxic, we make a B-Line right back to doubt!  “NO, you don’t want me….”  And, to tell you the truth, we fear how we make look to others, when it’s not about us in the first place! What if failure was a part of the lesson line-up?  Wisdom typically doesn’t come from a constant string of success, folks!

Anyone fear success?  Oh, crap, what if your big idea works!!! What if it requires more work than you thought?  Cut the “what if” crap already!!  If God gave you the idea, He is also equipping you for it!  Abraham, Noah, Moses… Do we need to go there!!  Here’s the thing y’all, if we sit back and allow our divine inspiration to turn stagnate, we are being disobedient.  Disobedience is not rewarded with greater or better ideas! Seriously. We clog our own spirits up so much we couldn’t possibly be conduits of Spirit.

This idea of yours is not just for you. This brain baby your carrying, is about its divine effect on your sphere of influence and, perhaps beyond it!! Our ministries are crucial for our place and our time! Ester 4:14 “……Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as THIS?” One of my top 5!!

God is pure creativity.  Wouldn’t it be safe to venture, God is eagerly sparing no expense to bless those who are willing to create?

Your time has come, Friends!

A Product of Change

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Lately I have come to appreciate the seasons of life.  Change allowed for it.  When rolling around in the box of current change, it is so difficult to see or even anticipate where your current season is guiding you to… In moments of stillness, as wounds are healing, and fog clearing, perspective shifts and clarity happens. With clarity, storms settle.. It’s a pretty amazing thing!

It’s a Sunday morning, and I am not at church. At the beginning of this season, it was due to people and the unmet expectations of people.  This kind of thing happens so frequently, and I had promised myself years ago that it wouldn’t happen.  It did anyway. Separation and a feeling of almost condemnation and judgement of others didn’t help.  Is it really that bad that I chose to stay home in bed on a Sunday? Not to mention, I was condemning myself, because I was pretty sure God was not pleased. Someone once told me, FROM THE PULPIT, attendance is not something to keep score of.  Yet, we still do, and I still was…

My love for God has not diminished because i don’t go to a building every week.  And His love for me has not diminished either.  One of the many things I cherish in my relationship with Him. AND, I believe God is perfectly fine with me not going to church (for the time being), IN FACT, he knew before I did, this season would be coming.

When I was saved, I was at church every time the door opened. It was fun, and blessed beyond expression. I did everything possible to be in service to the church… (See where this could lead?) I fell in love with service, and people, and programs, and studies.  Immersion can be so necessary and wonderful!! It can also get dangerous if you are not paying attention…

And, I wasn’t.  Pride became the driving force instead of  God. Need for status and recognition, and the approval of others was what I was worshipping.  miracles were still happening. Growth and faith was still happening.  But this pride of mine was beginning to dull out the true power of these things.

AND, I was becoming institutionalized by RELIGION. I was trying to earn my way into grace, instead of KNOWING i already had it. I was using church buzzwords like candy, and saying things like “bless their heart” in that condescending way. You know what I’m talking about. I would tell people I would pray for them, and then.. NOT pray for them. I was getting legalistic. I was becoming the Christian I had avoided all of my life! Without thinking, I slipped right into it. Then, the bottom fell out (as it should).

The last three years have been an interesting lesson.  When God fires you up, the dross that blows away can be devastating. People blow away. Position blows away.  Your left with some stuff that MUST be dealt with. In moments of stillness and clarity, you can rest and be healed. Perspective is brighter and forgiving. One of the best parts is coming to terms with loss, because the gains are exponentially more powerful.

It’s Sunday morning and I am not in a designated building of worship. I’m good with it! Not to say I won’t go back, because most likely, I will. Today, I sit in my bed, sharing a cup of coffee with my husband, playing with our infant son, overwhelmed with blessing and clarity. Because I AM part of THE church, I don’t feel condemned or judged by my God for it.  He’s doing something new and amazing, prepping my family for a new season of ministry. Whatever that may look like.  It most likely will NOT look like the expected. THAT is exactly why I came to Him almost eight years ago… He assured me that, though RELIGION stays ever tightly taped up in a box, RELATIONSHIP is and forever will be limitless.

Change… It is a miraculous thing!

Happy Sunday Friends! Where ever you are, however you are doing it, raise your hands up with gratitude and love for where you are! Things are happening within your Change!!

Change Never Knocks… It Lets Itself In

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Dun, Dun, Dun!!!! The fear of change is so laughable sometimes… Everything changes, it’s just a question of when.  It’s easy to make peace with change you see coming, change that is gradual and predictable, change that is…. comfortable.

The changes that knock your feet out from under you! That’s the scary stuff. Painful change. Uncomfortable change. Hard left-turn changes. Kind of changes that leave marks. Change without our permission! How dare it!

Catching on? Of course you are. You’ve been there!

The last three years in my family were interesting to say the least.  Muddy, rocky, landslides of stuff. It started in our home, spread out to our church, found its way into extended family, our jobs, and right back to our home. So many things so fast, we all had whip-lash! Add family and friends embroiled in their own tornadoes of change?  There’s a lot of debris! Separation. Misunderstanding. Loss. Regret. Bitterness. And back to Fear.

Short Story Time:  Three years ago there were a tribe of people in our life that scattered to the four winds. The moves hurt, the circumstances made it worse.  Two years ago, I was laid off.  Three months later, we found out I was pregnant. Having a baby wasn’t bad or disappointing. It was having to redefine life, and bring someone else in, when I was just getting comfortable with the uphill climb we were already on.

I could write a dissertation on details, and apologize for these changes not being desperate or dire, but the story isn’t as important to you as it is to me.  These things, as well as a few supporting cast issues upheaved my happy-go-lucky circumstances, and turned my rose-colored glasses into very gray ones.

Mulling through change is a very hard thing. Like being in a boat on the ocean.  If you don’t see ANYTHING on the horizon, your hope of land begins to wane.

BUT!! THERE IS HOPE!  BECAUSE CHANGE HAPPENS!!! Change is inevitable, remember? Here’s my very short-order cook Random for change.

– Forgive it.  Reconcile with it.  It’s leading you somewhere fantastic.

– Embrace it, let it show you the kind of person its leading you to be.

– Thank it. It’s brought you this far, and you’re still here. I bet if you took stock of where you been and where change has brought you, you would be impressed.

Take heart where you are and KNOW, something is happening. Change moves, we can rely on it.

 

Three years later… our children are striking out in life on their own.  We have this amazing baby boy who enriches our lives.  Jobs are happening! New friends are being made, old friends are being loved.

As the sun comes up and we are able to see land, we are more ok with the muddy and we are making peace with old wounds.  Now that I can look back, connect dots, and breath, change in it’s forms looks optimistic and promising.  No glasses required.

xoxo

 

Long Overdue Random! – Hearts

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This has laid on my heart for some time now, and starting the conversation is not a strong suit, so I will jump right in. K? Awesome.
There is a lot of pain going on lately. Disease, heartbreak, divorce, drugs, drama, sick babies, lost jobs, family feuds, and on and on and on… If this is you in any capacity, I am so sorry.
If you are anything like me, you get so ensnared in your own stuff, you feel ten times worse when you find out a loved one is in dire need. “I just let my first world problem take control of me, and  ________ is hurting…. Awesome!” (Obviously, some of these issues are not, in fact, first world issues and I am not downplaying any one’s situation in the least.)
Now your stuff still remains undealt with, with a nice frosted layer of guilt. Again, awesome.
This Random is blue, but stick with me here!
Luckily prayer supply can always outrun prayer demand!  Christians know the church is an extended family.  Not only that, my friends, the human race is an extended family!  Pray it up for everyone.  There is a light inside us all needing to pour out, for the sake of Spirit.  How are you pouring out?
Seems so daunting… When I see a challenge like this, I immediately make it a legalistic charge to save the world single-handedly.  Which will exhaust and piss me off in about a month.  Been there?
So here it is folks, a little guide-book of stuff handed to me in quiet time.  Stuff that is in process for some, and already processed by others. Go get ’em, Dear Ones!!
– Where do you put your energy when you pray?  Are you praying for the pain/sickness to leave, or are you already declaring health/recovery?  Prayer for cancer to disappear, is still praying about the cancer… Make sense?
– Everything has its time… Including your junk. Bitterness, unforgiveness, pain… It’s all there as a part of the lesson plan too.  So, identify it, acknowledge it, own it, and let it run it’s course.  Pushing too hard to get rid of it usually makes it worse. And for goodness sake, do not get too comfortable with it!
– What is it you are holding on to? Sometimes the thing is so buried we don’t know What our junk IS.. Start vomiting your crap on the page.  It will come out eventually.  When you see it, you will know. It’s almost magical how your heart will lighten!!
– Everything has it’s time… Holy Crap, do we ever have an issue with patience!  If you are in a first world trial, keep this in mind.  You are not going to get to the next lesson, if you do not let this one penetrate. And that takes process.
– And process isn’t necessarily organized in linear steps. Everyone is different, so don’t be mad when freedom looks different on someone else.  Envy will take you back a pace or two, so be glad in the progress of others!
– Fear is Freakin’ TOXIC!!! Trust in your maker. TRUST IN YOUR MAKER that everything is worked out for good. Perspective in the bubble is always distorted.  Once the bubble you are in bursts, things get so much clearer!!
– Be Real. Being pissed, ugly cries, fits of rage, where stupid tends to show up.  Ugly as it may be, it’s still authentic. Suppressing is unhealthy, obvious, and dishonest.
– Be grateful for what is in front of you. Remind yourself always of gratitude. THIS, right here, can get away from us so quickly… ALWAYS be grateful for your blessings.  THAT is where we need to keep energy invested.
– Randomly pick 5 friends/family members to connect with and encourage during the week. Most of the time we have no idea what others are going through.  A text that says “hello, I love you” can make a person’s lifetime!
– SMILE as often as possible! Look strangers in the eye, Allow yourself to laugh as loud as you can.  Cook someone dinner. Blindly pick someone on your contacts list and send them flowers. DO something that gushes out love.
– Keep in mind this one thing about yourself… YOU ARE AMAZING.  YOU ARE AWESOME. YOU ARE PURE LIGHT AND POWER. YOU ARE LOVE.. YOU ARE LOVED!  ok, that’s many things.. So, now you know you are more than you believe.
Never EVER give up hope, Friends! Fight for yourself, Fight for others. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!
Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your life.  It has been a weird and wonderful ride so far. May your today be amazing, may your tomorrow be even better!
I love you!
ps.  if you are reading Random for the first time, it is, simply a flow of thoughts posted at completely random times to completely random people on my contact list, and posted here on the blog. Usually there is nothing random about who Random reaches.  Thank you for reading!